Are You Friend Zoning Your Soulmate?
Demez White | 3/28/2013, 2:39 p.m.
I want you to think about the last person that wasn’t related to you that would do anything in the world for you. For some of you it will be a husband or wife, for some it’s going to be a best friend that you’ve had since high school but for a lot of you it will be a really good friend. That person that you can call and talk about anything with. That man that’s willing to leave a date to make sure you get home ok. That woman that’s more comfortable in a t-shirt and panties around you then she is her boyfriend.
So why is this person that’s willing to neglect everyone around them for you just a friend? They’re just a friend because somewhere along the way they got friendzoned. Maybe you had a relationship when you met them, it could have been you just weren’t attracted to them but did you give them a chance when the chance presented itself?
Most of us, this writer included have this image in our minds of what we’re attracted to, of what we want. I know women that have been mistreated and neglected most of their lives but “bad boys” are what they want. I know men that love women that are a “little crazy” even though that little crazy leads to more drama and stress than is healthy but they don’t stop looking for that type. Is it not a form of self-sabotage to watch a really good person that wants you, needs you, cares about you fade away while you thirst after the asshole that uses you?
I’m not here to tell any of you that attraction doesn’t play a part in whether or not you can see yourself being in a relationship with someone but I am here to tell you that there are different forms of attraction. Maybe she doesn’t look like she can be a feature in Drake’s next video but who’s to say you can’t work out with her and see past that. Maybe he’ll never dunk a basketball or have a tattoo but isn’t giving you the world a really good substitute?
I read all these articles about why women aren’t getting married. Articles about why men aren’t growing up or why the divorce rate is so high. I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I have all the answers but I do know that everyday I see good men and good women friendzoned for logical reasons to illogical reasons and I often think to myself… What if they just gave them a chance?
You can waste your entire life looking for perfect when sometimes the best option is to take really good and create your own form of perfect.
Follow Demez at @authordwhite on Twitter and www.demezw.com