Women Set Boundaries in Relationships; Men Define Relationships
Demez White | 11/11/2013, 4:37 p.m.
How does it all start? A hello, a friend request, an introduction from a mutual friend? There’s a hundred different ways we meet people we’re attracted to but there’s only one trait we all have in common. Women set the boundaries and men define the relationship. There’s no tricks or games, it’s not science or logic, it’s simply real life.
Men will only go as far as women let us. If I invite to my home for dinner it’s your job to tell me you’d prefer to that we meet at a restaurant. If we’re kissing and my hand slides too far up your thigh it’s your job to touch it and give me that look that says, “I’m not ready for all that.” I’m a man, I will always push boundaries sexually, I will always want you because you’re attractive. You have to be confident enough to know that telling me no won’t mean I’ll run away.
You have to know your worth and in knowing your worth you’re defining boundaries that will leave me no choice but to respect you.
On the same token that it’s up to you to set those boundaries, it’s up to me to define exactly what we are. So many men leave things unspoken, we just expect for whatever “this” is to fall into place. If I don’t want you going out with other men it’s up to me to tell you that. If you have a flat tire or need some help on a bill it’s up to me to let you know that I’m the one you should be calling.
By sitting you down and explaining to you where we are I’m defining not just where we are now but where I want us to be. Most men, including myself respect women that give us boundaries. There is nothing sexier than knowing the woman you are starting to fall for has standards.
We live in a generation of women that expose way too much on Instagram, they check into every restaurant or event they go to, nothing feels sacred anymore. Part of setting boundaries isn’t just with the man in your life it’s also with yourself. I don’t want to see what should be for me all over the internet. I don’t want to worry that if we have an argument the entire world will know our business.
When I define who you are in my life I’m also defining what other women aren’t. I’m holding myself to that standard because that’s the standard I’m holding you to. My logic is simple, if I wouldn’t want you doing it to me; I’m not going to do it to you.
You can read more from Demez at www.demezw.com