DEAR DOUG: Lucky Fathers!

Creators Syndicate | 5/12/2014, 12:16 p.m.
Q: Last week, our adult children asked what I think their father would like for his Father's Day gift. He ...
Doug Mayberry

BY DOUG MAYBERRY

Q: Last week, our adult children asked what I think their father would like for his Father's Day gift. He does not need or want ties, shirts, billfolds or material things. Any suggestions?

A: Loving fathers are thankful for their family's love, care and support. What turns on a father is being together as a family, getting some hugs and enjoying his favorite food and drink.

Fathers also appreciate receiving cards from their families in which they express their thoughts, appreciation and thankfulness for everything their dads have done to raise them.

Reading the cards aloud would be fun. It would remind your family of its happiness and how it overcame the bumps along the road. The children could talk about how they experienced maturity and overcame negatives, awakening to the fact that dad was smart. That should bring forth some healthy laughs.

Charles Wadsworth said: "By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong."

This could be one of dad's best holidays ever!

Q: My granddaughter, who is 17, threw a bombshell at us when she told us last week that she is in love and hopes to marry soon. I love my granddaughter, but my concern is that she is moving too fast. "William" is 18. Both my husband and I have experienced divorces, and we believe these kids are too young to make their marriage successful now.
We are not opposed to their marriage, but would like to slow down the process. What are our chances of doing so?

A: It will be a challenge, but should you convince them to delay their marriage, it should bond you and hopefully prove to be a lifetime marriage success.

To begin the conversation, invite them over to a few meals and tell them about what happened to your first spouses and why you divorced.

Assure them you are not opposed to their marriage, but simply its timing. Discuss what every marriage needs and how important communication between them is. Explain that partners often disagree, but learning to be patient and compromising are high priorities. One gives up something and gets something in return.

Help them to understand how discussing daily routines, finances, education, jobs, sexuality, religion, possibly children and other factors, and making agreements is what partnerships are about.

Often, the physical excitement about marrying overrides what marriage is. It is time to discuss who they are, want to be, if they want to raise a family, their work ethic, how to budget, and successfully experience all the things families do. Through loving each other, caring, committing, budgeting, trust, sexuality, humor, faith and goals, marriage works. One suggestion that might delay marriage would be to offer to hire a professional marriage counselor who can share advice and offer a checklist for successful marriages.

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California Retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com