By Keeon Rudder, Special Style Contributor

Her tears began as a trickle. Her vision quickly blurred forcing her to wipe away the haze. Michelle reached across the wooden table and gently squeezed her best friend’s palm. Their longstanding friendship, which dated back to college where they first met, made this new ritual all the sweeter and Valentine’s Day a little more bearable.

“I can’t believe it’s been five years already,” her voice trembled as she broke the silence. “You really didn’t have to, but thank you so much for coming Michelle. Every year, I hope and pray that I’ll get better so you wouldn’t have to come, but like clockwork, the 14th seems to hit me like a freight train.”

Michelle tightened her grip and looked dead into her friend’s eyes. “It is NOT your fault! You did absolutely nothing wrong, hun.”

“In the back of my mind I know it’s not my fault”—she paused as the barista hastily dropped off their orders sensing that the two were discussing something serious—“but I don’t know how to get over it. I don’t know how to heal. I don’t know why I can’t just move on and be normal again.”

“Love, you can’t rush the healing process. These things take time.” Pieces of cake spewed across the table as Michelle unsuccessfully tried to talk and chew. The two bellowed with laughter as onlookers glanced to see the unexpected commotion.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. And yes, I still see my Liberty Path therapist bi-monthly. I pray daily to forgive him for what he did to me. And every morning I look in the mirror and say, ‘I am heir to the Most High, I am beautiful, I am intelligent, and I am deserving of respect’ just as you recommended for the umpteenth time,” she chaffingly anticipated Michelle’s checklist.

Her demeanor quickly changed as she ashamedly bowed her head in anticipation of what she was about to say. “I met a guy and I really like him. He’s tall, dark and handsome…blah blah blah. And he’s so sweet to me but not overbearing. Just always does or says the right things,” she swallowed the lump in her throat.

“But I don’t feel like I deserve his love. I don’t feel like I am good enough for him. He really likes me—I think—and I like him too…but it’s like, I don’t feel ready to let another guy in. I’m not sure I’m ready to be vulnerable with a man just yet. It’s all just too much for me right now and I feel myself pushing him away although he’s soo good to me. Truth be told, I’ve never had a guy treat me like he does and that’s what scares the living crap out of me. I don’t know if his niceness will last and I don’t want to get hurt again. I can’t take another heartbreak.”

The two began to cry.

Michelle pushed her chair back, walked around the table, knelt down, and embraced her friend tightly. “You are not alone. I love you. And I’ll be your valentine for as long as it takes until Mr. Right earns your trust to take my place.”