Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Houston (BGCGH) seeks to serve as a community resource to provide guidance for parents and children who may be struggling with a higher degree of stress during the COVID-19 pandemic, which could include food insecurity, job losses and just plain “cabin fever.” When kids are in a Club setting at BGCGH, part of the job of staff and volunteers is to recognize signs of stress in children and help them learn coping skills so they can lead a happy, productive life.

“At Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Houston, the safety and well-being of our youth is always top priority,” says Kevin Hattery, president and CEO. “These are unusual times for all of us, but lower income families, many of whom we serve, are especially vulnerable. We are sharing advice and tips for adults on helping kids deal with stress in the hope that families can navigate the ups and downs of this public health crisis.”

Hattery notes that adults should learn to recognize the physical signs and emotional symptoms of stress in children. Physical signs could be headaches, upset stomach, sleep issues, a change in eating habits or pretending to be sick to avoid activities. Emotional symptoms include anxiety, increased crying or aggression, clinginess or social withdrawal. Pay special attention to any sudden shifts in behavior or unusual complaints your child brings up to you.

Tips to help kids deal with stress include:

Help the child feel safe. When faced with uncertainty and rapidly changing circumstances, kids of all ages may begin to question their physical security and the ability of adults to take care of them. During these instances, it’s important to reassure the child that he/she is safe and secure.

Talk with kids. Communicate in an open, supportive manner. Ask the child directly how they’re feeling and listen closely to their answers. No matter what they tell you, remember to stay calm and avoid making them feel judged or self-conscious. Also, do not get upset if a child can’t or won’t talk openly. Some kids need more time and encouragement than others.

Younger children typically don’t have the vocabulary to articulate “I feel stressed,” so they will use other words like “scared,” “sad,” “confused,” or “mad.” Meanwhile, preteens and teens may say dismissive things about themselves like “I can’t do anything right,” “no one likes me,” or “I have no friends.” Gently prompt the child to keep talking and try to pinpoint the driving force behind these statements.

Develop healthy coping methods. Most kids aren’t equipped with the tools needed to lower their stress levels. Teaching mindfulness techniques or breathing exercises can be beneficial in promoting relaxation. Additionally, you can explain that physical exercise helps combat stress. Promoting a healthy lifestyle with balanced meals, time outdoors and limits on screen usage (except for distance learning) are also recommended.

Spend quality time together. When children go through stressful changes in life, it is important to show them that you’ll always be their pillar of support. Try to reduce anxiety by planning fun activities together and offering praise and words of affection to boost their feelings of self-worth. Having routines, like weekday dinners together or Sunday movie nights, can also bring stability and comfort to a child’s week.

Manage your own stress. Children often follow the emotional cues of the adults in their lives. If you have been feeling the negative effects of stress, anxiety or depression, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Parents and caregivers need to prioritize their own well-being, so they can be supportive and attentive.

Don’t pressure a child into immediately telling you what’s wrong. If they are feeling scared or anxious, they may take longer to confide in you. Remember to always be caring and patient and allow them to talk openly when they’re ready.

Finally, know when to seek professional help. Despite the best efforts of parents and loved ones, some children may still be unable to open up. If a child or teen won’t disclose the source of their stress or you observe their symptoms worsening, it is time to seek out professional help via your family doctor or a trained therapist. A child in crisis deserves immediate help and support so they can return to enjoying a fulfilling childhood.

Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Houston has initiated programs to help “bridge the gap,” including pop-up food pantries at various Club locations, our ON DEMAND Club Experience for after-school distance learning, the Hunger Not Impossible app for teens and weekly communications about topics relevant to the pandemic to help educate and enlighten. Check out our website at www.bgcgh.org for more information.