Have you ever heard a parent say, “Do as I say and not as I do?” I’m sort of like that as a writer. I am constantly telling people to leave reviews on my books or articles but I can’t remember the last time I read a book and went on Amazon to leave a review. Blame it on my impatience for remembering passwords and not on my heart.

That leads me to the point of this article. I was sent a novel about two to three months ago and I saw the title and decided it wasn’t worth my time. “Another book about dating” is the first thing that came to my mind considering the book was entitled, ‘Dating in the Age of Narcissism: A Single Woman’s Survival Guide.’ How many ways can men or women tell single people that the guy needs to open the door or call instead of text?

That was until I was sitting up one Sunday morning and saw a quote on Facebook from the book. So I opened it up and started reading and before I realized it I’d finished it. It was a good book but not because it was information that was new but because of the way it was told. It was unapologetic and coming from a place of no regrets.

Novels, where people cast themselves as perfect, have always bothered me. Simply because none of us are. I don’t review books, I’ve to leave that to the professionals. Whenever I read a good book about real life, what interest me most is knowing the person behind the words.

Now let me be even more honest. I’m not sure I would have kept reading the book if it wasn’t for the intro to the novel. I won’t go into specifics but it was a level of transparency that is rarely seen in our generation.

You could have written this book without being so brutality honest in the beginning. What made you add that part and was there any hesitation?

Yes, I could've written it without kicking people in the face on the first page but I didn't think me telling a fairy tale story of my pre-sexual and dating history would have held the readers captive as much as the raw truth would. Of course, there was hesitation. The introduction was actually written years ago and was never to see the light of day. I didn’t want to hurt my family who didn’t know these things had happened to me. My editor and I went through two different intros; one less brutal and the other more jovial and comical. I chose the one that would break hearts because the last thing women need is another damn fairy tale. The truth, however unpopular, always provides clarity where it is needed most. I added this unknown, tragic and secret time of my life to give myself credibility for the reader. How can I give advice in relationships if I'd never failed at any? If I'd only encountered success and storybook relationships could I get anyone to listen to me? How can I talk about marriage if I'd never been a wife? All success is built on failures.

I don’t believe all success is built on failures but I believe that you can learn just as much from failing as you can when you succeed. That’s sort of the premise of this novel.

I believe the coolest part about this entire story telling experience is the way she acknowledges there are some great guys out there and it’s mostly her who isn’t ready. So many of these books are written so that the woman feels like she should jump at the first great guy. You don’t have to settle, especially when you know your value.

I like the book and if you’re looking for something different when it comes to dating. You will too.

“Dating in the Age of Narcissism: A Single Woman’s Survival Guide” By Kimberly Michelle.