Today, I read one of the best written articles I’ve read all year in the Washington Post. It was about ex NFL player Larry Johnson and his struggles since retiring from football. The main thing I got from the article was something he said when he was talking about his daughter. I’m paraphrasing but it went, “When I found out I was having a daughter I knew God had a sense of humor. With all the bad things I’ve done to women he gave me a daughter in hopes that I raise her to never want to date a man like me.”

That stuck out to me because most men that have done women wrong are terrified of having daughters because they feel as though karma is going to come back around in the form of their daughter getting her heart broken and maybe worse.

I personally don’t believe in karma but I believe in guilt. I think if you’re a man and you’re afraid of having a daughter you need to come to grips with the idea that you haven’t forgiven yourself.

If you’d have asked me ten years ago, five years ago would I want my daughter dating a man like me I would have told you of course not. My answer today would be different because I’m not the man I was. I’ve never been this guy that abused women or cheated on women but I was so emotionally unavailable and not ready to accept someone loving me. That can be just as damaging as being abusive.

Dating is already difficult in our generation because we compare ourselves to complete strangers and the people we used to be. Combine that with the guilt and fear of passing down your worst traits to your mini-me and it can wear on you. Every time she cries or has a crush you worry that this is the moment it’s about to happen.

You change who you are and change the narrative of who you want to be. You raise her right, you love her, you show her respect and admiration for her mother and she won’t be the girl that allows a man like the one you used to be to tear her world apart.