Not Every Soul Mate Is A Lover

Demez White | 3/1/2019, 10:29 a.m.
What do you, we, as human beings need more than anything? We need to feel loved. We need to feel ...

What do you, we, as human beings need more than anything? We need to feel loved. We need to feel the warmth of knowing someone cares whether or not we make it home from work if it’s raining too hard. We want to be able to share our day with someone just to breathe better before we go to sleep. Whether you’re a Christian or a non-believer it’s hard to imagine a life in which love isn’t a pivotal part of what you believe in.

The simple truth is we could go our entire lives and never find that man or woman that brings out the best in us. We might never find that kindred spirit that touches us not just sexually but mentally and emotionally. The person that nurses us back to health when we’re sick and calms our fears when we’re afraid.

But what if in looking for this person we neglect our real soul mate?

We don’t’ look at the best friend that takes off work to take us to the doctor when we aren’t feeling well and we’re afraid. We might dismiss the friend that we talk to every morning before we go to work and knows all our secrets. You might not look at them like a lover. You might not even admit how you feel for them or want to acknowledge that they arouse something in you. But they do. They know the pattern of your breathing when you’re sleeping. They know your moods and turn-offs. They know you. And isn’t that how love starts?

Maybe soul mate makes it sound too deep. Let’s call them the person that simply knows you better than anyone and maybe even better than you know yourself. Being family and having the same blood doesn’t make you close. You can have a sister that you shared a room with for eighteen years and you only talk to her on family holidays. It’s our decision as people to embrace family and then those family ties become something even more. But the feelings that come with a soul mate are beyond our control.

I’ve taken a break from writing because I needed to live life. I needed to love and travel and fail and make memories so my stories and thoughts feel new. What I’ve learned in this time is that I believed that we were all destined to find this one person that God created simply for us when the truth is most relationships are based on convenience and circumstances. The real love, the love that stands the test of time, is often the love that’s the most innocent, the most pure. It’s the love that is gets you and takes you in a way that makes you want to give and take, not keep score.

If you have someone special in your life that you know is there for you, appreciate them. Don’t push them to the side for this idea of what you think love is because one day your heart will be broken at this idea and they’ll be the one to help you pick up the pieces.